Preparing for the Holidays

Well I am hoping that I have finally found someone to watch my son over the long holiday period! This will also be my only time for a "break" and if I can't find someone to help me, I am sure going to be suicidal even before I go back to work. She has met Cameron and is willing to work with him so I am hoping she doesn't back out on the first bad day he has. Lets cross our fingers and say a little prayer that she is patient with him!

The Status on the College Life!

Well I made another "A" in my last class however, my college pursuit is officially ON HOLD. I have to pass my PRAXIS EXAM before I can move on to the next class and that is holding up my money! I missed Reading and Writing by 1 point! Yup! I said it, one lousy point and I can't believe it so I have to work on that this and next week. My test is broken up into two different times so I can concentrate on them one at a time. The first is reading and I think I have a better chance at passing that and have time to work on my writing. OH well! I made just enough money to pay my bills this month so that is refreshing! :)-

Cameron's Kindergarten Picture

Just look at my baby! Look how much he has grown! He is so big! He is doing well in school. Doing much better writing his name and pronouncing the ending of his words. So PROUD!

Happy Birthday to me! 41! YUCK!

Kind of bummed out I am missing all of my pals in Tennessee but something terrific happened this morning. For those that have normal children,,,count your blessings but sometimes having a child with special needs makes for some good entertainment at times! Well here is one for the books! My son, cameron is still potty training and he is now 6. OMG is right. Well I was drinking some of my morning liquid courage and I see him in corner of my eyes just standing in middle of his TV room. I ask him, do you need to go POTTY? He did say anything, usually he YELLS NO NO! But he walked towards the garage and the Bathroom is right there.. So I kind of followed him around the corner and he darted into the bathroom. He has the tendency to take the lid off and play in the water, so I opened the door and asked him if he needed any help and he stood up off the potty and his pull-up was on the floor, and with authority he said, NO! and shut the door in my face! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! :D

JOB is CHALLENGING, CAMERON is GROWING and

SCHOOL is DEMANDING! I am tired all the time and just can't get back into my fitness. I WANT TOO! Real Bad! I have a big test this Friday! PLEASE PRAY I PASS! I must pass to continue on in my program but I have not had time to really study because I have been sick the last two weeks, stressed out over money and stressed out over daycare for my son! And now my classroom is moving over to Guy B. Teachey where my son goes to school and I am sure that will cause some problems! I am just hoping he does not have major problems with seeing me.

It is NEVER gonna stop is it?

When will it stop? When will I find the right people to work with my son? People that won't QUIT just because he throws fits. Heck, he tries to hit me everyday, but I HAVE TO HANDLE IT! See that is the problem now isn't it? It doesn't matter because it is just mom, mom HAS TO TAKE IT... so we won't worry about MOM! But in the mean time I have to handle a full work load, full class load and handle Cameron daily. Sometimes I truly feel I was dealt a pissy hand in life!

Cameron's Birthday Party!!!

BIRTHDAY PARTY was a BLAST! Yes It was a GREAT DAY but I am beat and coming down with something. My sinuses are terrible and I have so much pressure on my face! At least my nose is draining now and not all stopped up.. He got his trampoline and his new scooter. He also got a Buzzlightyear remote control car and alot of clothes! He had fun until he had a major meltdown.
We were missing a few people that did not show up and I am surprised at a couple of them. not even calling! But hey... Cameron's dad was here and so was my boyfriend and my mom so it was a good turnout and a lot of pizza to eat! I will be eating pizza forever! and CAKE!
I am not feeling too well right now but I have to rest today and hopefully I will feel better tomorrow!

Update Time!

Yes I know it has been awhile but working has REALLY thrown a wrench in my schedule! No time for gym in the morning so I will have to find time after work to fit it in and I need to. Getting fatter every minute! It has been hard, trying to find a daycare for Cameron. I have had him rejected once and he is on thin ice with the second one. Just don't know what to do with this child. Hopefully God will have the answer soon. I have ran out. My next class starts on 23 Sept so I get a little break and will be working with a tutor tomorrow for some math overview. Hopefully Cameron's schedule will fall into place soon, poor little guy doesn't know what is going on! BUT he TURNS 6 on SATURDAY! My baby is 6, I can't believe it! We are having a party and my boyfriend and my mom will be there, as well as his Dad! Yes, I said his dad.... I am glad he can come and see him. We also have about 5 families coming so lets PRAY for no rain but they are calling for it and that means indoor party! OMG! Well here we go!

I GOT THE JOB!

About Darn TIME! I've got the job! I was hired yesterday as a Teacher Assistant at Lindley Park Elementary School. The school is about 2 miles away from my house and the best part is that I am the assistant in the Special Education Classroom! YEAH ME! I can't wait! Yeah, it will be tough with me going to school and raising cameron, but we NEED THE MONEY! WHAAAHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Women! Don't put it off, get your mammograms!

Christina Applegate treated for breast cancer

LOS ANGELES - Christina Applegate is undergoing treatment for breast cancer, but the disease was caught early and the actress is expected to fully recover, her publicist said.

ADVERTISEMENT

The Emmy winner's cancer was detected through an MRI ordered by a doctor and is not life-threatening, publicist Ame Van Iden said in a statement Saturday.

Well I don't know about you, but everyday you hear of healthy and beautiful women getting breast cancer, so it is important to get checked once a year! Pitty, if you knew you could have prevented it by getting screened! Just do it! Because why? Because I GET TO!

Update on Cameron

Well he is still in Summer School but his Medicaid got APPROVED for another year! YEAH US! Wheeeew! I was so WORRIED about that. I have my application in for subsititute teacher and Teacher's Aide in for 3 or 4 schools so hopefully one of them will pick me up. I am really interested in the one at Guy B Teachey elementary school because my son goes to that school and we won't have to worry about him getting home and meeting the state people since they are always late! Keep your fingers crossed for me that the principal calls me. I am praying for that job. Oh yeah, I have decided just to date as many guys as I can until I meet the right one. I am ready to find the right one, so wish me luck!

Moving On!

I am posting a weekly Quote because I am moving on from a previous relationship with a significiant other. I am also choosing to leave bad food behind me! I choose to only surround myself with positive people. I want to surround myself with positive energy and live life to the fullest!

MOVING ON!

Today I will take the first step toward new goals. I am growing by exploring new territory. Life has many lessons for me and this is only the beginning of a new, exciting adventure. With each step, I add more dimension and color to my life. Good things are happening to me now. I welcome new adventures with open arms!

SOUL DEVELOPMENT!

We are earthbound in our painful experiences, but with the help of others we can reach higher for our soul development. Just love this one.

FORGIVENESS!

I forgive because I am capable of expressing compassion. By forgiving, I release from my energy field and feel clear-headed. I forgive because I am able to rise to my higher self and feel lighter. My light knows no boundaries when I forgive. Life feels lighter when I forgive.

BODYFORLIFE CRUISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here are just a few pictures of the cruise! It was nice to see my BFL friends again!

Mike Harris and myself on the
excursion to Cabo!

Bill Phillips preparing to

come along side of our boat!

Denise dressed like Wonder Woman~

This is at the Champions Workout!

Yvonne showing her muscles!

And last but not least is Helene and her great husband! They were

also on the boat for the Cabo San Lucas excursion!

Yes this cruise is in the books!

HISTORY! I saw some very good friends and made some new ones!

Kid Rock

Before you listen to the VIDEO, go to the bottom of the page and put the PlayList on Pause! Enjoy, this video rocks!

Look at my Baby and his Graduation from Pre-K!

As soon as Cameron saw me, he ran out of line and hugged me
and the teachers had a hard time getting him to stand in line
long enough to do the song! Poor Baby, just wanted to come and
sit on my lap!

Here is Cameron showing off his Graduation Certificate from Pre-Kingergarten. How CUTE is he?

Look at my Pride and Joy here with his Teacher Virginia and holding his Graduation Certificate from Pre-Kindergarten! Yeah, He is a big boy now!

Master's Degree YIKES!

Yes it started and it has been kicking my rump roast since day 1! OMG! Could never have imagined it would take so much work just to get ONE DARN THING DONE! I mean having an autistic child doesn' t help AT ALL! For example, today, it took me 4 hours to build up a 5 minute Power Point Presentation! I was up and down every 2 minutes getting him something or fighting with him or blocking a punch! lol! He has a new assistant on Tue/Thurs and since it was her first day, she had no clue on what to do with him so I was UP and DOWN, UP and DOWN and getting pissed off, trust me, I was trying to DO HOMEWORK people! So I turned to UTUBE videos and I just love the one of the mouse and the cheese! It is posted on MySpace Page!

Just look at my Little Man! What a Ham!

Just look at my Handsome Baby! What A Ham! I need to get a new printer and scanner but this will do for now! I just can't believe that he is so tall and handsome! Looks like he is selling some Captain Morgan Rum doesn't it? LOL! Just damn Adorable!

What a TERRIFIC weekend! Take a look!

Cameron playing in the suds bucket! Craig
had to fill the bucket up 3 separate times!

















We had a great weekend, I couldn't ask for anything more!
My dad calls me Saturday Morning and ask me what I was
doing and tells me they are coming down, and I was estatic!
So Craig gets here first and the Cameron comes home from his
outing. Then my dad and Doris arrive when I am trying to put
Cameron to bed! Man, I do NOT know where he gets that
"stubborn streak" of his! LOL! But I heard laughing and hollering
going on and I had to join the party! Here are some pictures of Craig
and Cameron washing the cars and playing in the water. Then Cameron
is playing with Craig in the livingroom by piling up pillows in front
of his face! It was a great weekend!

I will BETTER than this PICTURE~

This is my first BodyForLife "After" photo and I felt TERRIFIC here but there is one thing

that I find hilarious, I weighed 176lbs and I was "tiny". Tiny to me anyway, I was wearing a size 8 and still weighed that much but my goal for this year is to make the 160lb mark! Just imagine! So at the end of the year I will post the end picture right beside this one and compare! See you then!

Rug being pulled out from under me.

Yeah this is my life's story but when I think things are going well, there GOES THE FLIPPIN RUG. I have this wierd feeling that something is bothering Craig and I just can't figure it out? However, I would like to get to the bottom of it and I will.. because it will bother me until I do. Other than that, Cameron's RESPITE HOURS have been reduced. Medicaid is reducing hours across the board and they cut him from 20 hours to 9 hours. YIKES! That is a HUGE REDUCTION from what I am use to receiving. All those DAMN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS sucking off the government, burdening down the system as a whole. What pisses me off the most, is they come over here by the herds and most of their kids are NOT in school because they are ILLEGAL but they have hundreds of fake ssn cards, driver's license, etc and that is enough for our government to give them FOOD STAMPS and SSI because they have no money. Oh but less forget about this special child that needs services in order to "hopefully" one day live close to what a normal life actually is. I am just pissed off right now and I am up on my soap box!

I enjoyed this weekend with Craig and Family!

Well I bit the big one and met the family and I honestly have to say, they are the two sweetest people and laid back people in the world! Mom has this quiet sense of humor and an open mind about lots of things and dad, well he is a kick in the pants and I love them both! Wish my family was that close now but there is no chance for that. But I enjoyed spending time with all of them and I just adore their dog,"sammy". Such a cute dog! Well they are coming to my house tomorrow so after the gym I will come home and clean! I was most definetly blessed this weekend! Thank You God!

Meeting the Parents this weekend! Yikes! :)-

I am actually excited to meet them, not sweating the load at all! Don't know what that means but they are really laid back so I am sure we will have some major fun! Driving up tomorrow morning, so I have to get all prettied up! hee hee and drive up there knowing I am STOPPING at Starbucks to get my Caramel Macchiato,,,, LOVE IT! But only get it on my free day! My weight has stagnated but I am sure it is from the new birthcontrol, Mirena... Takes some time for the body to adjust and I am bloated.... ok on to better stuff, I road around in my car for 2 hours today, sucking up the sun and I love it! Can't wait for summer! Whaaaa Hooooo!

As Always supporting the BFL Community!

Even though I have other things going on in my life pertaining to my son, BFL has always and will always be an important mainstay in my life and I have been asked to help spread the word about the up and coming BFL Cruise! Remember May is right around the corner and if you want to go please give Cam Thieme a call Great Southern Travel at 1-800-555-4335 and reserve your cabin! You'll never regret it!

This will be our 2nd year celebrating life together on our cruise!
The Champions-for-LIFE cruise is truly a 'HighPoint" experience, as it is the perfect combination of inspiration, learning, and relaxation. Leave your worries behind, as you will never find another group of such positive people all in one place.
Lifelong friendships have begun on our cruise adventures, as well as the start to some lifelong relationships! Whether you are in need of some motivation and guidance following the BFL lifestyle, or if you are just needing to relax after working hard to stay in shape all year - the Champions-for-LIFE Cruise is something you'll never forget.
Meet, dine, train & celebrate while sailing in the Baja with your favorite Body-for-LIFE Champions & challengers who love to share their insight into what it takes to be successful and how to stay motivated. 2006 CFL cruise we had nearly 200 BFL Champions & Challengers from around-the-world!
This year, we'll be providing some additional structure for those who want help choosing the best types of food on a cruise ship environment. You can still eat healthy and exercise while on vacation. Perhaps a mini-contest for those (team) who are able to maintain or even lose a couple of pounds while on-board? Who knows? But ...Bill Phillips says when he is on vaction, he is ON vacation, and does or doesn't do whatever he wants to do or not to do. As you well know, In Mr. Phillips' World famous BFL book he encourages everyone to take a "free week" after your 12 week BFL Challenge. Remember. . . .This is YOUR vacation. Feel free to do what YOU want to do! Do a HIIT cardio on the beach or. ..maybe. . . sun your buns while relaxing with a massage & sipping a tropical libation from a coconut while waiting for dinner aboard aluxury liner? It is all up to you. We are celebrating your BFL success from BFL training all year long! What better way to reward yourself for all your hard work, than to celebrate & share your success with your newest Friends-for-LIFE while sailing the Exotic Baja Coast?!?!?
Each year our group gets better and better...don't miss out, reserve your room before they are sold out! If you would like to check the official site out for yourself! Here it is!

http://www.bodyforlifecruise.com/

Cameron's Fits

Here is only one part of the fit, the better part.

It was much worse in the beginning!

Had a Very Difficult Day Yesterday!

It started when it was time to get Cameron off of his bus! He jumped into the front seat and started messing around with the steering wheel and refused to get out! Then Christie and I finally got him out of the van, then he ran to Christie's car and got in and wouldn't get out! So we were trying to get him in his seat so she could take him to the park but that didn't work. He started to have a major meltdown, kicking, spitting inside the car. He actually kicked me in the face which hurt by the way! Then we was fighting the both of us to an extent we both were exhausted and it scared the hell out of me. He was so distraught, like he was possessed. It took us over an hour to calm him down, then he was normal cameron. Scary thing to go through and I tell you one thing, parents that complain about their children and their "normal" needs to take my son for 1 day and they would be thankful for their "normal" kids. Sometimes I feel like I am being punished for something I have done in the past and just can't figure out why me. Sometimes I hate my life, what I have to go through on a daily basis, it is SO HARD. I cried on the phone to my boyfriend, Cameron's dad....

Lets just say I had a very difficult night and I am drained today! Might go run later on, just too worn out right now and feel run down. I need a hug.

Today is Autism Awareness Day!

Today is Autism Awareness Day! CNN is running specials all day on this issue and if you would like to share your story please go to Robin Meades Page and there is a link! I posted a comment referring to our struggle with this disorder. I am very proud that FINALLY, it has its time in the News! It is also a shame, because that means more and more children are being diagnosed with some form of Autism. It affects more families than you realize, 1 out of every 150 children and born autistic and 1 out of every 90 boys are diagnosed. It is even more important for us, adults and parents to be healthy so we can give our children a fighting chance at living a normal life! That is what I am doing. I have the best combo, because with God and BFL by my side, I have been able to make it through some of the most difficult times in my life and I continue to be a stronger person and parent for my son, Cameron. Our children are the future and we need to have our bodies and minds as strong as they can be to do our job and leave the strongest legacy that we can so they can survive and thrive! God Bless

I can't believe I am posting this but here I go!

Well these are the photos and trust me when
I say that I did not want to post them but
I am putting myself out there and saying 18lbs
does make a difference! I can tell in my stomach
especially and my hips but the challenge that I
started today with Craig will get me even closer to
reaching my goal and that is to wear a size 10. I have
so many beautiful dresses that I want to wear on the
cruise that I WILL REACH THAT GOAL. Right now
I am wearing size 12/14 depending on who makes the
clothes but I will pass size 12 and get to size 10! Then
Craig and I plan on doing another one after the cruise!
I am so excited that I found someone that enjoys and
believes in BFL as much as I do! We can do it!

Final Grades and GPA!

Well my Bachelor Degree is over and I got a B- in Pre-calculus and a B in my Abnormal Psychology class so I am good to go! My GPA is 3.70 for my entire Bachelor Degree Plan! Not too shabby, think I made one of those special funny name smart groups! lol! Well I didn't get to spend the entire weekend with Craig but he did come over on Friday night and stayed over and he had to go to work first thing in the morning but it was nice to see him again! He is such a sweety and he is willing to learn more about Cameron so that is encouraging. We took our photos yesterday for our up coming challenge that we will do together and we both have work to do! I am watching reruns of the Biggest Loser and will hopefully get to bed at a decent time tonight! Later Gators!

Onto my Next Chapter in my Life!

Well I got a phone call from my academic advisor with University of Phoenix. That is who I will be getting my Master's Degree in Early Childhood Education with. It will be cross-catergorical so I will deal with a lot of different types of children with difficulties, not just autism. I am hoping this will help me deal with Cameron's issues and help us make our lives better! Completed the enrollment online with his help, updated my federal funding loan application, printed alot of documents off and filled them out, requested a transcript from Pensacola Jr, College so I CAN GRADUATE! Darn IT!

Then Mom and I went out for dinner, LOVED IT, then came home and did yard work, I mowed the grass and raked all the leaves and dumped them in the gulley, then mom trimmed the hedges in front of the house and the yard looks alot better. So we got alot done today and that felt great! Craig is coming over tomorrow night but needs to work this weekend so atleast I will get to see him tomorrow for alittle while!

I've DONE IT! I've Completed my Bachelor Degree!

YES YES YES! Feel like celebrating! I am DONE! So glad it is over! My final grade for PreCalculus was a 80.7 so it wasn't an A but I am good with this, heck it was almost the hardest class I have ever taken online! But again it is over and I am DONE! Now I can say that I am the ONLY PERSON in at least 10 generations or even more in the history of my family that has received an Associates Degree, let alone a Bachelor Degree in Human Resource Management! Yeah me, I am SO PROUD OF MYSELF and so is my boyfriend! Now I can concentrate on Craig and Cameron, the two men in my life and it feels great! Thank you God!

Craig's New Car! Ouch it is SWEEEEEEEEET!

Craig bought a Brand New 2008 5 speed Ford Mustang on Thursday! He brought it over on Friday Night after work and it is SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET! I have already drove it 3 times already and YES YES YES, it ROCKS! YEAH ME! LOL! We had so much fun this weekend, it was nice to see him again! Ok here is the front shot!


The BACK SHOT! NICE!
And a Picture of my HONEY!

Now remember, this guy is 6 FT 5in tall! He is a big feller! SWEEEEEEEEEET!

Ok Update time!

Craig and I have decided to spend the entire weekend together and that includes my son, Cameron. He is coming by after work and spending the entire weekend with us! I am so excited. He is also driving his new car down here, 2008 8 cylinder Ford Mustang, SWEEEEEEEETTTT!
And OF COURSE, I get to DRIVE IT! You know what the best part is, ITS A 5 SPEED! OH YEAH BABY!!!!!!!! I love me some muscle cars!!! Oh yeah, back to the Man! lol. We are going to the gym Saturday Morning, then hitting the town, I want to go eat at Red Lobster for free day, will have to be out of Greensboro, since Asheboro hasn't made it up to speed yet! lol.. But that is ok, I had to get a babysitter and what the best part is, Craig offered to pay for the babysitting! He said it wasn't fair for me to pump out all that money and he was hogging me up! He is one of a kind..just too damn sweet. He is also bringing his drill so he can start on the "honey to do list" around my house! ha ha! I do actually have a few things that need to be done,,,, ummmm! lol! Well Completed last test in Psychology and made the highest score of all the test prior! How funny, now only one Precalculus test left and I AM DONE! PARTY TIME! Can't wait to see him again, later gaters, I FINALLY HAVE A LIFE! Yeah me!

Another Great Date with Craig!

I drove over to see him today and we had a blast! What a sweetheart, we talked about Bodyforlife, the cruise and then went to lunch at this great little diner and they made great salads. Then he took me to his job and showed me where he worked, big place,,, of course it has to be if he is to build turbine engines..... then we visited his gym, which is a monster of a gym, I loved it, and they even train kids for gymnastics,, it was another great day! This man puts a smile on my face! Can't wait to see him again.

My Date was AWESOME!

Well it didn't start out great but it ended great! He is so tall and big, OMG! He is 6ft 5in tall and just a big man! His left foot has been giving him problems, something about his tendon but he is totally for BFL and knows everything about it! Lives and breaths it! I said, THANK YOU GOD! I think I hit a homerun with this guy! He has such a huge heart... He can't wait to get back into shape and we are doing a challenge together starting the end of this month, after mine is finished and he wants to go on the CRUISE WITH ME! Yeah me! I am so excited I can't wait! Anyway to the date, he was late, like 2 hours because he went to help his buddy look at a car, his friend was in Detroit and the car, well it was in Raleigh and so Craig went to look at it and talk to his friend on the phone and kind of negotiate for him, well it went WAY TOO LONG. He was suppose to be here at 1030 so we could drive to Greensboro and get lunch, take our time, talk, do whatever we want! So I called at 11:20 and asked him if he was coming and he explained that he was helping his friend and it ran way too long, more than he expected and I guessed he could hear the dissappointment in my voice and I have no patience for a man that wants to play with the boys vice go out with me. But he was helping a friend and it ran way too long, so I know he was trying to do a good thing, but darn it, that was messing up my night! lol....There is a time and place for everything, so in the matter of 10 minutes he was OUT OF THERE and on the road to my house! LOL! It turned out to be the BEST DATE EVER! I would not have missed it for the world. So sweet, endearing, honest, funny and down right huge! I love a big man! I can't wait until we both get back into shape, he is so handsome, even being a little on the heavy side but he sure CAN KISS! YEAH ME! I can't wait to see him again.

Its hard to find the right one!

I am getting excited but trying not to let it control every emotion or thought that I am having like I am a teenager. I remember those days, when you think you "found the right one" and they turn out to be a jerk and cheat on you or something like that... but this one is a little more mature and older so I am hoping that won't happen. We are going to meet at a local restraurant next Wednesday. I am excited and nervous all at the same time but I welcome it. I am hoping for once, it is my time. Oh yeah, one more thing, hope he is willing to accept Cameron as he is! Well we will see! Cross your fingers and say a prayer!

Udenia's Mistery Dish! YUMMO!

SUPA FREAK! You have got to try this one! YUMMO! I was tired and just threw this together and it was YUMMO! Probably will add to it later on, after eating it!

Turkey Breast basted in Sundried Tomato (already cooked and wrapped in grocery)

chop it up!

1/2 cup drained tomatoes

1/2 cup Chick Peas (very high in fiber and protein)

4 green onions

1 jalapeno

fresh garlic to taste

black pepper to taste

salt to taste

Be Positive, Stay Motivated and REST MY BODY!

Well I have been sick and trying to fight it for about a week and I gave in because I decided my body needed a rest and really give it a shot to "KICK" it! Once and for all! Well on Saturday, I weighed and measured and after 6 weeks I am down 14lbs and 8 inches! So all in all I say the REST did my body good! 6 More weeks to go!

My Life Stinks-But On Positive Note Im Breathing!

Trying to keep it positive! LOL! Well I am in a financial Spiral,,, and it is going down OUT OF CONTROL! Trying to maintain a certain level of positivity but not looking good. You know when you get your taxes, Your suppose to be happy but this year I was pissed off! I am getting only 1/2 of what I was planning on, so no paying the credit card down, and no paying ahead on my car or consolidation loan! CRAP! And the worst of all I am still going to try to go ON THE BFL CRUISE! That is what UPSET me the most! It is STUPID for me to spend that money on a cruise and not be able to pay my bills so I am going to try to do what I can, not go crazy and still see if I can make it! As of today I am -60 in one bank account and -35 in another bank account. My main bank decided to take money out of my account and transfer it over to pay 1/2 of a loan payment which is late but that I was going to pay on the 19th when my tax return was due to come in,,, but THEY DID THIS without my authorization and 4 checks bounced and of course they charged me a returned check fee for each and every check@ Oh Yeah, they got a piece of my mind and I got a piece of their ass! Yes I cursed, I am mad! Forgive me ok! The hits keep coming.... But they said it is my fault? How is it my fault, I had the money in the bank to cover my bills, I knew I was going to be late with the 1 bill which happened to be theres... but THEY DECIDE to take money, ALL MONEY in my account and transfer it over,, and leave NOTHING in my account,, so everything bounces! I have officially transferred my direct deposit over to another bank and told them that I am done with them, I will only have enough money in the bank to cover the payments for their loans, no more, no less! Now THEY CAN SUCK IT UP! They have lost a customer after 22 years! They have made my life miserable this past 2 weeks and I can't explain the stress and worry it gives to someone to worry about money, let alone when you know you only have 1/10 gas left in your car, -$60 in one account, and -$35 in another,,,,, and you only get paid once a month! I know you don't want in my shoes! But no one does! So when my tax return gets in the bank, I will catch my bills up, get groceries, and leave the rest alone.... I am concentrating on getting back into shape this year, can't afford to do anything else! I still want to go on on the cruise and if I don't make it, please know that I did try!I don't think that anyone really reads my blog,,, hardly have any comments, so it really doesn't matter, I am thinking it is just therapy for me anyways. :)-

Time to Face the Music, Financially anyway!

Well it is time, to face the music financially anyway. As soon as I get my tax return, I will need to sit down and determine what will it take for me to live for the next 3 months without working, and attending college full time, raise my son which means, feed and clothed him... and then maybe go on the cruise! I have already put my deposit down but since I have to pay my momt o come down, it causes more financially strain on my accounts.. so we shall see but I may have to grow up and realize I can't fly around the world and keep my world afloat here! So I will need to be able to pay $1,100 house payment for April, May, June and utilities as well which is electricty, water and fireplace gas for the logs. Food, gas for the car and lunch money for Cameron. Gym fees which are only $20, loan payments, credit card payments and car insurance and cameron's life insurance. So it will take me all night to figure up the numbers and I have a feeling it won't be something that I want to see but I might have to face, that I might NOT be able to go, FINANCIALLY.. Not that I don't want to go,,, but I didn't get back as much as I thought I was from tax return as I originally thought so that is out the window and would have to make it up some other way, but I will leave my deposit to see if something else comes up! I can't only pray about it!

Caught a Cough and Body Ache!

Got the fever under control, haven't had one since early yesterday so that is cool, but I still have this nagging cough and I am sneezing up a storm. Paid to have someone come and take Cameron today to get him out of the house and it is free day for me, so I am running to the store picking up a nice steak for myself and a big baked potato which I will have for supper and "Pro-Bowl" but I am resting it up today, have to be better tomorrow, because next week is a full plate as far as workouts! Time to Step it up a notch, add more weights and increase the cardio! We will see what happens so I am resting today! Wish me luck!

My SON BIT ME TODAY!

I can not believe it, I tried to get my son to go and POTTY because he came home from School early because HE IS SICK and that means he isn't going to SCHOOL TOMORROW and this makes the 4th TIME! AND HE BIT ME. Brought blood to the surface of my arm and it HURT! He has came home on a Thursday and will take a 4 days off, LUCK FOR THE DARN SCHOOL huh? I almost feel like they do it on purpose because they can't handle him and so they SEND HIM HOME, then it messes my whole darn flippin schedule, school, my college exams, my workouts, EVERYTHING! But again, it DOESNT MATTER because the only people that it affects is myself and my son! No one else and as I said before, there is no one else here! God is upstairs! I need him to come downstairs and help me out here!
08 FEB 08
Friday morning, actually Thursday Night MIDNIGHT, Cameron wakes up and doesn't go back to sleep, THAT'S RIGHT! HE is UP THE REST OF THE NIGHT! SWIRMING, HUMPING the BED, THROWING THE COVERS UP AND DOWN, YELLING, PEE, PEE across the room so I would get up and then he would run, so he did that one too many times and I RUNG HIM UP! He didn't like that crap too much but it is 2 AM, I am WIPED OUT, and he is WIRED FOR SOUND! WHERE IS THE OFF BUTTON! MY DAY IS GOING TO SUCK but I have to make the best of it, just hoping to make it through my college exam, and workout today!

FOOTBALL SPREAD for SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!

This is what I had laid out for SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!

On top left was Beer Ribs, then Parmesean Potato

Pancakes, then Shrimp, Spinach and Artichoke Dip and

of course the Frittatas! My spread was a HIT!

Stay Positive and Produce Positive Results!

This blog is my outlet because as most of you know, there are not a lot of people around for me to talk too lately and from my last post, I had ALOT to get off my chest and the truth of the matter, is that I don't like being ugly period. I am a good person, goofy, funny and fun loving but stress and all that life brings with it gets to everyone once in awhile, me, more than that especially when you are living in a house with an autistic child, taking Pre-Calculus and trying to get back into shape! So I started from, hating myself and begging God to cure my son, to asking God to give me the tools to help myself and my son but I did realize that I did NEED HELP! I can't do this on my own, never could. I needed his help and I got another whisper from him today. I went to the gym for a Body Pump class at the local gym that I joined in order to get OUT OF THE HOUSE and the instructor was not a bodybuilder by no means, just a normal person, probably in ALOT better shape inside than me, but normal and she ended up talking to me afterwards and sending that "whisper from God" that I needed to hear! thought that was so cool! She told me to create my own "second family" with people in the area and that I what I am going to do.

Ok on to fitness! I have lost 10lbs so far and I am in week 5! I am hoping to pull out 1 more lb before the end of this week so I can say I've lost 11lbs but I am not going to push my luck just the workout! I want to get below 200lbs before the end of this challenge so the next challenge I can reach my goal weight. which I was at the end of my last challenge in 2006! I AM ALMOST THERE! Then it is on toward the CHALLENGE FOR THE CRUISE! I want to win my $$ back!

PRAY and STAY POSITIVE, there is NOTHING I CAN'T DO!

I am so Mad, Feel like SCREAMING!

Sometimes I ask myself WHY DID I MOVE BACK TO NC, or better yet? ASHEBORO? To be closer to my family? Friends? Yeah Right? Where are they? I really only have one set of friends and they actually HAVE a LIFE, which usually doesn't involve me, and that is not there fault, but leaves me out a lot of the time. As far as my family, WHO? My dad lives in Tennessee and I have actually seen them more than my 1/2 sister which lives only 20 minutes away and that is a shame, but AGAIN, they actually have a life. Want me to come over for a visit, but they fail to Cameron proof their house and I end up chasing my son the whole entire time, and getting Up and DOWN every 2 sec running after him, so I DONT GET TO VISIT,,,,, so I don't go anymore! Do they understand? Probably NOT! I feel left out, I actually did not even know that my 2 niece's had their birthdays these past 2 months! I wasn't able to do anything for them but as I see, they don't need anything from me, they have it all anyway or it seems, I mean since no one bothered to tell me about their birthdays! Then there's My brother, PLEASE, whatever, I haven't spoken to him in years and really don't care anymore. He doesn't even tell mom he loves her or can gather enough energy to send her a mother's day card or birthday card in the past 10 years so he has written us both off but I sent Jessica and kendric, his kids, my niece and nephew both $20 and X-mas card this year and did not even get a phone call from them, NOTHING! Here I am in Asheboro, pretty much by myself, trying to raise this autistic child, sometimes feels like I am LOSING THE BATTLE with him. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself but today I was PISSED OFF, mad at the world, MAD AT MY friends for not being there, MAD at my MOM for not being able to come up more, MAD at SOMEONE, ANYONE but there is NO ONE HERE! Mad at his DAD for not having to deal with this shit at least SOME OF THE TIME, MAD at him because HE gets to go out on a DATE once in awhile, MAD at him because he gets to SLEEP IN and ROLL OVER IN THE MORNING? Me, FORGET IT, who the hell is going to put up with what I have to deal with? NO ONE! Not many people will even stay longer than 1 hour for a visit, oh, I have to go,,,, YEAH, I BET!! He "WHOEVER" he is, better be shipped via UPS directly from HEAVEN because otherwise, it isn't going to happen. It is funny, if your child is sick with something, whether it is a disease or injury, family/friends come by,. try and help out, give you a BREAK but when it comes to AUTISM, you can hear a FLIPPING PIN DROP and a BIRD FART at 10,000 feet in the air, because people just don't know how to fuc*** HANDLE IT and I want to HATE EVERYONE for it! Right now as I try to type this, My son is JUMPING UP and DOWN, GRINDING his FLIPPING TEETH, and of course that is after he had thrown his entire toy box ALL OVER THE FLIPPING FLOOR and ONE MELTDOWN LATER and NO I haven't had time to do the SMILEY FACE CHART YET!

Son is having Anger Issues and I am trying to go on BFL Cruise!

Lord Help Me! Last night and this morning, and pretty much everyday, if I say something he doesn't like he will push me! A 5 year old, most of the time I grab his arms and tell him in a really firm voice, We DO NOT PUSH, HIT, whatever... and for the most part, I don't think it works except when I hold his hands and sit him on the floor. He doesn't like to be restraint.

But on the other hand, I made a decision yesterday to go on the BFL cruise. I went on the 2006 one and had a BLAST! and I want to go again! This time, I will be officially retired from the Navy and will be a civilian! I am putting my deposit down, I just hope I can find a babysitter because I really, really, really want to go!

And the Hits Keep Coming!

2AM came way too early this morning after I just got hm to sleep around 8:30pm. After what we both went through last night I expected him to sleep like a log all night, I was wrong. He woke up at 11:00 and I put him back in his bed, atleast I won that little battle, but it was short lived, then he woke back up at 2:00am and NEVER WENT BACK TO SLEEP! WHAT? So he laid in my bed and swirmed, played with his trains, grind his teeth, and pushed all the covers to the bottom of the bed! But I managed to keep the lights off and I was hoping it would hit him that it was still night time and night time is for sleeping but it didn't work, so I lost that battle, I am going to be wiped today. Going back to bed this morning for a few hours, then working out!

Prayed to God for Him to STOP!

I thought my day was going to get a little better when I found out that I would be getting some additional help with my son on the days I wasn't getting RESPITE but then when the lady left that came today, my son was WIRED FOR SOUND. Bouncing off the walls and it was 7:30, by that time he should at the least be calmed down by all the meds he was given and watching his TV and slowly going to sleep but oh no, he was throwing everything, so spitting mad, he was SPITTING LOUDLY, THROWING EVERYTHING IN HIS ROOM. I went up there first calmly, and tried to calm him down, didn't work, he wanted a COOKIE, and because I didn't give in, "he didn't finish his chicken nuggets and green beans" he threw his nuggets across the room, then he threw his Rescue Heroes Station across the room and hit the wall, probably the only one in the house that DOESN'T have a hole in it, OH WELL not now! That's it! I am NOT letting him do this, so I jerked him up and put his little butt on the bed, then I tried to talk to him, and this is what I got!

I got kicked, I got punched, I got spit on, over and over and over! For about 5 minutes, then I decided to put some of my weight on him to help calm him down, oh, then he starts CRYING. and screaming, "GOOD BOY, GOOD BOY, GOOD BOY, BLUE, BLUE, BLUE, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over for at least 20 minutes and I think after that last kick I started praying to GOD for about 15 minutes until his voice got below a certain decible level, I figured I could let him go, he was sweating and his poor little face was red and I was crying. I don't know what else to do. What am I doing wrong, why is he doing this? Am I doing everything I can do for him?

Turning Point!

I am an emotional mess today! The 2007 BFL Champions were announced today and I am genuinely happy for all of them, I received a phone call from the Service that is suppose to be providing me with 20 hours of Personal Assistance for my Son, which entails, personal hygiene like teaching him how to take a bath, help him potty train, brush his teeth and I am hoping his anger management. Don't know how many more holes in the walls I can take. Still feeling tired for some reason, really don't know why, feel a little run down, but completed my workout anyway~

My son got home at 2:30 and he got in the house and immediately started yelling for cookies, well I am not giving him cookies right away, he can have baked cheetos, baked chips, bananas, other fruits, etc... so he got mad and threw himself on the kitchen floor and in the middle of that, he managed to knock over about 5 puzzles that were sitting on the counter and of course, they all had about 10-20 pieces with EACH OF THEM! Yeah, they went everywhere, so I thought I would finish it off, and just tossed the whole darn thing on the floor and told Cameron I would HELP HIM OUT! Probably not the best thing to do, but I have had it! When I am tired I am not at my best, but I did not give in and give him that darn cookie, he got a BANANA! :)-

I wanted to cry, but then thought about everything and cried anyway. Figured it would get better and I would feel better if I did cry so I let it rip, then my help was late today. I just don't feel like doing anything today, thank God my workout is done! So I think it is a shake night with some boiled eggs!

Closing Week 3 out with a Kick in the Rump Roast Workout!

I FELT GREAT TODAY! Even though it didn't start out like that. My son decided to wake me up at 0415 this morning by swirming around in the bed, knocking all my covers off, etc until I got so mad, I just got up, WAY TOO EARLY! So as soon as I got his little rear end on that bus, my butt went back to bed! HAD TOO! Got up 2 hours later and felt great. Got to speak to Mike Harris, just love him, then I did my Pre-Calculus Homework and then...... hit my workout with some pented up hostility, I tell you! I TORE IT UP TODAY! My cardio was on it, and then my Upper Body! Just love working out to my JAMS on my IPOD! I was ROCKING it out today! Just because I looked funny in the mirrors wasn't enough for me to quit! I just sang to myself! SO THERE! :)- On to WEEK 4!

Now I am just updating on this post because I am not writing a whole new thread just to say that I am at the 9lb weight loss! I am sure it is from all the bad CARB loading I did prior to starting my BFL, so when I actually starting eating GOOD, it went into shock! :)- But it went up and down over the last 4 weeks and managed to be right on the money when I woke up the day before free day, and it was 9 lbs lighter! So that is a VICTORY to me!

When YOU make YOUR MARK IN LIFE!

There will always be someone there to try and steal it away or minimize it! Stand Tall Because YOU deserve to be there! I deserve to be there!

How to Handle haters:

A Hater is someone that is Jealous and envious and spends all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.When you make YOUR mark, you will always attract some haters... That's why you have to be careful who you share your blessings and your dreams with because some folk can't handle seeing YOU blessed. It's dangerous to be like somebody else...
If God wanted you to be like somebody else He would have given you what He gave them.
You don't know what people HAVE GONE THROUGH to get WHAT THEY HAVE.
The problem with HATERS is that they see YOUR GLORY, but they don't know your STORY.
If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too. :D

We've all got some haters among us: Some people don't like it that you can

*Come to church*Get your praise onhaters don't want to see you Happy*

Haters don't want to SEE YOU SUCCEED
Haters don't want you to get the VICTORY
Most of our haters are people that are supposed to be ON OUR SIDE.
How do you handle the haters who you at least expect to have your guard up against?

You can handle your haters by:

1. Knowing who you are and what you believe; who your TRUE FRIENDS are
2. Having a Purpose
3. By remembering what you have is by Divine Perogative and not Human Manipulation
PURPOSE does not mean having a job. You can have a job and still be unfulfilled.
A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be.
Your purpose is not defined by what OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU.
You will always be trying to get stuff because the more stuff you have will not improved what others think about you, what others think will last as long as the stuff lasts

When God gives you a favor, you can tell your haters,
"Don't look at me...Look at who is in charge of me.

REMEMBER, IT AIN'T ABOUT YOU, BUT IT'S ALL ABOUT GOD.

Mystical Winter WonderLand! Just Beautiful!

Winter WonderLand at the Icenhour's House!

That's My Snow Baby! Man, he just didn't know what to do with this stuff!

Cameron's First Real Snow EVER!

Here is my Beautiful son in my front yard playing in his FIRST EVER SNOW! He couldn't figure out for the life of him what that "stuff" was but he was picking it up and rolling it up in a ball! I will take more pictures when it starts to pile up! What fun is this? WHAAAAAA HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Friggin Pissed and Overly Aggravated!

Man, the Flipping weather! If I had a NORMAL kid, I wouldn't be as pissed but I know "IT" is a coming! What I mean by that, is I have already gotten a dose of "my daily dose" from the last shot of snow and sleet that we got. Don't get me wrong, I love a pretty snow, so much as a kid and even more now, but anytime it snows or sleets and icing over on the roads, that means the state assistance for Cameron does not happen and I am trying my darnest to keep him "happy" ALL DAY! It is nothing about me and all about HIM.. so anyone doing a challenge, trying to eat right or even get some rest, well that all WENT STRAIGHT TO HELL IN A HAND BASKET! It took me pretty much until late afternoon to get my cardio in yesterday and it wasn't a "normal" cardio session, improvised but nonetheless, I got it done and felt good about it, but my son kept interrupting me and so in order to keep my heart rate up, I had to improvise and run around my main floor of my house, which is the living room, dining room, kitchen and entrance way about 20 times and each time I ran through where he was, he either threw a truck or train at me, jumped at my legs or yelled at me, guess I was "bothering" him! Go Figure! Man, life is just too hard some days, isn't it and today, well he has been very difficult to handle. He has had two meltdowns, thus resulted in more holes in my walls, made by his little trains, so his trains went up in the closet, and so he is very mad at me about that and spit at me... Yes, he spit at me. Well I have to get ready to do some math,,, write more later.

Update, it turned out that my tutor was able to show up and I got my quiz done and made a 88. Happy about that and got my workout in, so all in all, the mission was accomplished!

Made a Hard Decision today!

Every morning, my son and Rocky, my dog has a fight and one usually my son comes out with stratches. Now my dog is not mean at all, just big and my son, Cameron being autistic does not understand really how to treat animals. He can be rough and has hurt the dog by grabbing his groin area and squeezing really hard. Every morning, is so stressful and I am sad to say that I am going to give my dog Rocky to a new home. I have found someone, a Dad and son duo, whoes son is 13 and I am sure would be a great companion for Rocky. So today will be his last day in the house and I am in tears but I know it is the best for Cameron and my stress levels. Hope I am doing the right thing here.

Closing the 1st Week of my 2008 BFL Challenge!

Yes Yes Yes, the first week is written in History and I topped it off today with one heck of a Cardio Session burning 324 calories on my New Baby, the BowFlex TreadClimber and took a very short break to get my weights together and did my Entire Upper Body! I increased my weight with my Back and Chest Exercises in the dumbbells and Nautilus portions of the workout however I did feel some sharp pains from my right shoulder. Still having some trouble out of that tendon over there so I had to baby it just a little. "NOT TOO MUCH!"

Ate clean this week, trying to pick out what I want as a Free Meal on Sunday! I will let it just happen, then I won't worry about it. Drinking alot of water and I have noticed my Ice Tea and Diet Soda is lasting ALOT LONGER! :)- Off to do some Pre-Calculus! YUCK! Have a great day!

Updated Pictures of Home Gym!

Well since it wouldn't let me write anything with the pictures without making the page 5 feet long, I decided to do it and another post. The first picture is a wide view if I was standing in the back part of the gym at the mirrors and facing towards the door. I have hung a few more posters, some personal, some military, kind of gives you an idea of what I am seeing when I am back there working out!


Second photos is of my favorite corner in the gym, the EAS Corner, it has my pictures of when I drove 5 hours in rush hour traffic in 1999 in Northern California to see Bill, Shawn, their mother and Porter at a Book Signing in the Local Mall! One of the Best Days of my Life!

Third Photo is of my New Addition to my Gym Family! My BowFlex TreadClimber. Just got it the day AFTER Christmas, Yeah that's right! But it also turns into a stairstepper and a treadmill with a 10% incline if you so desire, didn't know that one until I read the instruction manual! So MEN read the directions! :)-

This week was my first week back at working out and I am tired and sore but it is all worth it. Can't believe I have gotten so OUT OF SHAPE! But it doesn't take long, it really doesn't and today was a huge awakening for me! You can NOT hide from the mirror! Can't fool the mirror! The mirror NEVER LIES! Yikes! Have got to get busy! Oh well! Off to the races! Wish me luck and see you at the end of this challenge, then onto another one and another one and another one!

Updated Gym Pictures!

Starting Two New Challenges Simultaneously!

YUP! That is right. This week is PREP week and I am preparing my body to get back into the routine of working out and eating clean. I am so glad the doctor gave me her seal of approval over the phone. She ask me a few questions and told me to take it easy for the first 4 weeks! SURE I WON'T! I want my Banging BODY BACK! I feel like a SLOTH! I am not use to living this way AT ALL and am NOT happy with myself so it is time to get it in gear! My legs are screaming today, all tired and stiff from using my new Tread Climber, JUST LOVE IT!

Well I am signing up for the body for life challenge and the Torch Jacket Challenge! Wish me luck!