Breaking him OUT OF THE WINDOW!

I am speaking of my son Cameron, who drives me crazy each and everyday without a pause! He is repeating words and alot of times not making sense and it drives me up the wall. I have to tell him to shut up because he won't stop. Today, he kept saying Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye for over two hours and I couldn't take it anymore so we jumped in the car and went for an hour drive, went thru Wendy's and let him have the fries and I ate a Grilled Chicken sandwich with no condiments. Still tasted good and the diet coke sure tasted good. But we drove and drove and drove, then when we got home, he kept saying BED, BED, BED, BED and I couldn't explain to him that it wasn't time yet even though I tried ALL DAY! YIKES! I want to go out and SCREAM! I am trying some new stuff with him, B complex liquid is suppose to help him with his speech and I am also trying some new enzymes to help digest and clear his system of yeast and toxins build-up. SOMETHING HAS GOT TO WORK! The system surely WILL NOT DO THEIR JOB! I have lost a few lbs even though the doctor told me not to do anything with my shoulder again and my back has been hurting bad. Had a yardsale on Saturday and only made about $65.oo it was cold for hours and only got warm right at quitting time. I might try it again this Saturday but I am not sure! HATE HANGING THE SIGNS and HATE COLLECTING THEM! Oh well, looking forward to a weekend without Cameron even though I know I will miss him but I can't breathe when he is around, always on me, stepping on me and jumping on me like he weighs nothing! NOT TRUE! Pushing 84lbs. Oh well, I will guess I will bitch later!

Another Day in the World of Autism

Sometimes I feel helpless and that I have lost control of my life! After watching the Oprah Winfrey show and reading Jenny McCarthy's book, I was even more mad because I don't have the resources available to give to my son. I mean with Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy and even Behavioral Therapy. All will help him in learning how to adapt to his autism and learn to cope with it. I am scared because I DO NOT HAVE THE MONEY to have one on one sessions with him, that my son will suffer! I don't want that but I am not rich like Jenny or the other stars. I am barely making it right now, my retirement pay is NOT ENOUGH but just en ough for me not to qualify for any benefits for my son, DAMN IT! WTFO? I wish for once, GOD WOULD SHINE ON US RIGHT NOW! I need his help, I need help period! I am going to try to remove Gluten from his diet but kind of hesitate to remove all diary products because yogurt is the only way I have to give his medicine, taking that out would cause MAJOR PROBLEMS! I don't know what to do right now.. Got an IEP meeting with the school today at 1:00pm and I will ask for a one on one, Additional OT and additional Speech! Lets see who I have to piss off today! Oh well, won't be the first time and sure as hell won't be the last!


Now my only prayer is that I fine someone for me, I think I deserve to have someone in my life, no luck so far, been WAY to busy with school, homework, papers, etc and of course the rest of my day is filled up with taking care of CAMERON! Now that is a busy day!

HELLO THERE! Here are some pictures of my babies!

Here is my new baby and my Biggest Baby!
In the nude and in the dog's crate! :)-
Now, this is priceless!


And below is my beautiful boy sleeping like he
is still 2 years old! Now that is a booty! Wonder
where he gets that from? :)-

Hanging in there but I am LOST!

I was telling me Dad and Mom that I felt SO ALONE! Being in the Navy for as long as I was and being in CHARGE, I feel so LOST just sitting around the house with CAMERON, which is a MAJOR HANDFULL. Actually has been a mean little boy the last 2 months and I can't take it anymore, tired of fighting with MEDICAID, the SYSTEM, entirely TOO MUCH red tape involved and it looks like the Illegal Immigrants have more benefits than an autistic Child! Bull Shit if you ask me, but I have found myself to be screaming more and more at Cameron. I have less patience and I am wearing thin here, need some help but there IS NONE! The VA can't help, their is no room in any daycares here and I am getting pushed to my LIMIT, which by the way I am already passed. I lose my temper entirely too fast but that is telling me I need to get to work but I CAN"T! With Cameron being out of school, I can't even get a Part time Job! Waiting on my school loans to come through, and if they do, I hopefully will have some money to put back into savings here to help me get through the end of the year! It is hard when you have no one close to you, thought I would have some help, but it turned out as usual, so I should be use to it... Just accept that I will have to take care of EVERYTHING as usual by myself and then I won't be disappointed.

This is the End and the Beginning!

As of yesterday, and no one really said anything, don't know if anyone thought about it, I guess not, but that was my official LAST DAY IN THE US NAVY! I am officially RETIRED and not even my family said anything, one group went on vacation, and I thought they didn't have the money to come to Hawaii to see my retirement ceremony, ummmm? Well and here I am sweating how i am paying my mortgage for the next two months? I guess it is my problem huh? Not anyone elses.

My son is out of school for almost 3 weeks and I have a mid-term coming up, a term paper and a test of course, but as I said before, it is just me and my son. Should be use to it by now, huh? Even coming home, it is the SAME. Take care of yourself because there aren't too many people out there that will help you with anything. There are alot of people here that shouldn't be and they are taking all the benefits that the state has left and I pretty much have to will my son over to them to get any benefits from them. It sucks, trust me. It is almost like they look down at you for asking and it is for my son, not me. I don't know how i am going to get my workouts in because he won't let me leave the room for 5 minutes without him, extremely attached now and whiny. Then after he goes to sleep I have to do homework or I am in trouble so that is my main priority right now, I want so bad to get back to where I was on the cruise. I felt great, I felt alive!

Preparing to Paint entrance to Basement

I am standing in Lowes yet again, ought to get a job there for how much I have spent there in this past 2 months, but anyway trying to get them to match a metallic purple, same color of my medicine ball because it also looks just like the EAS purple. And it would match great when I hang my HUGE EAS BANNER! Then paint the door purple, accent the trim with purple. I think it would look nice and I got a nice warm burnt brick color for the actual entrance to the basement because it would actually carry around behind the washer and dryer. Got to help control the moisture and mold, so I have to paint it soon. Almost done with paint, the only rooms that haven't been touched is the guest bathroom, guest bedroom and bath downstairs, other than that I have painted the entire house! Yikes! Oh well, put applications in at Walmart and Lowes for Management/HR positions. So we will see, just something part time to help pay the bills. That is all for now, cha cha!

First Leg Workout on my New Toy!

It went great, loved the leg extensions bar, all you have to do to switch from leg extensions to leg curls are to pull one red lever out and move up or down, LOVE IT! No switching cables or anything like that and I have a LEG PRESS! Yeah me! Just loved it!

Update Photos of "The Chief's Gym!" Painted!

I am getting excited, slap wore out but excited, now with the fresh coat of paint, it is really beginning to look like my gym, can't WAIT to get the mirrors up!

My New Gym! It is TOGETHER!

Well I still need to paint it, put up the mirrors and
hang the HUGED EAS BANNER that was given to
me but other than that I can use it! So here are just
a few pictures for you. I can'twait to get started!

Angled View of the Gym!










LEG PRESS









LAT PULLDOWN & SQUAT












Butterfly & Bench










Big Screen and Recumbent Bike

Maybe something good happening for us?

Went to the Social Security Office today and I was told that I can apply for $$$ for Cameron since he is Autistic which is technically disabled. He will receive a check every month for a specific amount if I make under $2000 a month and it looks like I will be making under that once I retire from active duty. So I will apply and see what happens, say a little prayer, hopefully this will be the relief we are looking for to be able to relax for awhile! :)-

OMG I am FINALLY IN!

It took an ACT OF GOD to get BACK into "MY" own Blog! Man, and here is Linda posting "fun pictures of the cruise" on my blog! Go figure! Wheew~ Did not want to start back over again! Well Cameron and I are in North Carolina and in our new home. It HAS NOT been easy. The transition for him has been so hard thus making it hard for me! He has resorted to HITTING me and STRATCHING me when I don't agree with him or tell him to do something he doesn't like. This little man is STRONG! Had to practically drag him to bed the other night and I am bruised from head to toe from him hitting me with his trains, so I started taking them away and now I have to come up with some home made deal to keep him from banging holes in the walls when I yell at him. I haven't slept in weeks, eating is all off and the doctor told me to lay off bodybuilding because the meds make my joints weak and could hurt more than help! wheew, long road ahead of me! He is off of school this week and my next semester of college just started. I have to admit, this week I am in OVER my HEAD! It is nice to be home, just hope it settles down soon.

10 Days until my Retirement Ceremony!

10 Days and Counting! And Man, am I nervous, haven 't even started to write my speech and am not worrying about it until a few days prior. Want it all to come from the heart! But I want to make sure and not forget about anyone that has helped me over the years. People tend to forget the ones that DESERVE RECOGNITION.. but I won't. I just hope I don't miss anyone. I am not writing out a formal speech, but I will have some notes. Want it to be uplifting and funny.... Never mind that I am moving to a DRY COUNTY! Yikes! Have to import my beer over the border! ha ha!

I am excited about going home and being able to paint the house! YEAH ME! Well take care, thought it was time to update my blog!

Old BootCamp Photo!

Now don't tell me I wasn't a young puppy when this was taken on the bus back from Sea World in Sept 1985! Man have I came a long way baby!

Official Pictures for Retirement in July 2007

Well Howdy everyone!
Here are 2 of my photos
for my retirement
invitations and announce
ments that will go out
at the end of this month!
I can't believe that it has
been 22 years! My body
sure feels it, but in my
heart, I will always
want to help my
sailors!





OFFICIAL PHOTO w/FLAG

Made a Big Decision Today!

I came to the decision today, that I will not take any classes next semester due to me moving back to North Carolina, preparing to get out of this house, packing out all of my HouseHold Goods, getting my son ready to go. Really don't know how he will act on the plane, the last flight was hell in the air, so i do not want a repeat!

Little nervous about buying a home, but I DID IT! Received my first book of checks in the mail with my new address on it! HOW SWEET! 38 working days LEFT, and YES I AM COUNTING DOWN! I can't wait to get home! :)-

New Bedroom Suite

Hello All! Here is a picture of my NEW Bedroom Suite! Well not totally NEW, but new to me!

Bought the 4 piece set for $800 to include the Queen size bedframe, big dresser with mirror and side table. Still looking for a Amoire (sp) ....

Additional Pictures from New House!

Outdoor Patio
will wrap
around to Bay
Window in
Kitchen!






Master
Bedroom
standing in
corner!






Unfinished
entrance to
basement!
Love the smell
of the wood!




Cameron's
Playroom!

More pictures of the house!

I am looking out
front door down
driveway!







Outdoor patio
Plan on wrapping
it around to bay
window







New Washer
Dryer Set!In
basement!

New RoseWood Dining Room Table

Look at this Table! I found it on CRAIGSLIST.COM, that is where
people sale their stuff they want to get rid of and here in Hawaii,
there are a lot of nice Asian People living here and alot of them are
moving back to Korea, Thailand and can't take their heavy furniture
with them and they are putting them on sale for GREAT PRICES.
Look at what I bought for $700.