FOOTBALL SPREAD for SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!

This is what I had laid out for SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!

On top left was Beer Ribs, then Parmesean Potato

Pancakes, then Shrimp, Spinach and Artichoke Dip and

of course the Frittatas! My spread was a HIT!

Stay Positive and Produce Positive Results!

This blog is my outlet because as most of you know, there are not a lot of people around for me to talk too lately and from my last post, I had ALOT to get off my chest and the truth of the matter, is that I don't like being ugly period. I am a good person, goofy, funny and fun loving but stress and all that life brings with it gets to everyone once in awhile, me, more than that especially when you are living in a house with an autistic child, taking Pre-Calculus and trying to get back into shape! So I started from, hating myself and begging God to cure my son, to asking God to give me the tools to help myself and my son but I did realize that I did NEED HELP! I can't do this on my own, never could. I needed his help and I got another whisper from him today. I went to the gym for a Body Pump class at the local gym that I joined in order to get OUT OF THE HOUSE and the instructor was not a bodybuilder by no means, just a normal person, probably in ALOT better shape inside than me, but normal and she ended up talking to me afterwards and sending that "whisper from God" that I needed to hear! thought that was so cool! She told me to create my own "second family" with people in the area and that I what I am going to do.

Ok on to fitness! I have lost 10lbs so far and I am in week 5! I am hoping to pull out 1 more lb before the end of this week so I can say I've lost 11lbs but I am not going to push my luck just the workout! I want to get below 200lbs before the end of this challenge so the next challenge I can reach my goal weight. which I was at the end of my last challenge in 2006! I AM ALMOST THERE! Then it is on toward the CHALLENGE FOR THE CRUISE! I want to win my $$ back!

PRAY and STAY POSITIVE, there is NOTHING I CAN'T DO!

I am so Mad, Feel like SCREAMING!

Sometimes I ask myself WHY DID I MOVE BACK TO NC, or better yet? ASHEBORO? To be closer to my family? Friends? Yeah Right? Where are they? I really only have one set of friends and they actually HAVE a LIFE, which usually doesn't involve me, and that is not there fault, but leaves me out a lot of the time. As far as my family, WHO? My dad lives in Tennessee and I have actually seen them more than my 1/2 sister which lives only 20 minutes away and that is a shame, but AGAIN, they actually have a life. Want me to come over for a visit, but they fail to Cameron proof their house and I end up chasing my son the whole entire time, and getting Up and DOWN every 2 sec running after him, so I DONT GET TO VISIT,,,,, so I don't go anymore! Do they understand? Probably NOT! I feel left out, I actually did not even know that my 2 niece's had their birthdays these past 2 months! I wasn't able to do anything for them but as I see, they don't need anything from me, they have it all anyway or it seems, I mean since no one bothered to tell me about their birthdays! Then there's My brother, PLEASE, whatever, I haven't spoken to him in years and really don't care anymore. He doesn't even tell mom he loves her or can gather enough energy to send her a mother's day card or birthday card in the past 10 years so he has written us both off but I sent Jessica and kendric, his kids, my niece and nephew both $20 and X-mas card this year and did not even get a phone call from them, NOTHING! Here I am in Asheboro, pretty much by myself, trying to raise this autistic child, sometimes feels like I am LOSING THE BATTLE with him. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself but today I was PISSED OFF, mad at the world, MAD AT MY friends for not being there, MAD at my MOM for not being able to come up more, MAD at SOMEONE, ANYONE but there is NO ONE HERE! Mad at his DAD for not having to deal with this shit at least SOME OF THE TIME, MAD at him because HE gets to go out on a DATE once in awhile, MAD at him because he gets to SLEEP IN and ROLL OVER IN THE MORNING? Me, FORGET IT, who the hell is going to put up with what I have to deal with? NO ONE! Not many people will even stay longer than 1 hour for a visit, oh, I have to go,,,, YEAH, I BET!! He "WHOEVER" he is, better be shipped via UPS directly from HEAVEN because otherwise, it isn't going to happen. It is funny, if your child is sick with something, whether it is a disease or injury, family/friends come by,. try and help out, give you a BREAK but when it comes to AUTISM, you can hear a FLIPPING PIN DROP and a BIRD FART at 10,000 feet in the air, because people just don't know how to fuc*** HANDLE IT and I want to HATE EVERYONE for it! Right now as I try to type this, My son is JUMPING UP and DOWN, GRINDING his FLIPPING TEETH, and of course that is after he had thrown his entire toy box ALL OVER THE FLIPPING FLOOR and ONE MELTDOWN LATER and NO I haven't had time to do the SMILEY FACE CHART YET!

Son is having Anger Issues and I am trying to go on BFL Cruise!

Lord Help Me! Last night and this morning, and pretty much everyday, if I say something he doesn't like he will push me! A 5 year old, most of the time I grab his arms and tell him in a really firm voice, We DO NOT PUSH, HIT, whatever... and for the most part, I don't think it works except when I hold his hands and sit him on the floor. He doesn't like to be restraint.

But on the other hand, I made a decision yesterday to go on the BFL cruise. I went on the 2006 one and had a BLAST! and I want to go again! This time, I will be officially retired from the Navy and will be a civilian! I am putting my deposit down, I just hope I can find a babysitter because I really, really, really want to go!

And the Hits Keep Coming!

2AM came way too early this morning after I just got hm to sleep around 8:30pm. After what we both went through last night I expected him to sleep like a log all night, I was wrong. He woke up at 11:00 and I put him back in his bed, atleast I won that little battle, but it was short lived, then he woke back up at 2:00am and NEVER WENT BACK TO SLEEP! WHAT? So he laid in my bed and swirmed, played with his trains, grind his teeth, and pushed all the covers to the bottom of the bed! But I managed to keep the lights off and I was hoping it would hit him that it was still night time and night time is for sleeping but it didn't work, so I lost that battle, I am going to be wiped today. Going back to bed this morning for a few hours, then working out!

Prayed to God for Him to STOP!

I thought my day was going to get a little better when I found out that I would be getting some additional help with my son on the days I wasn't getting RESPITE but then when the lady left that came today, my son was WIRED FOR SOUND. Bouncing off the walls and it was 7:30, by that time he should at the least be calmed down by all the meds he was given and watching his TV and slowly going to sleep but oh no, he was throwing everything, so spitting mad, he was SPITTING LOUDLY, THROWING EVERYTHING IN HIS ROOM. I went up there first calmly, and tried to calm him down, didn't work, he wanted a COOKIE, and because I didn't give in, "he didn't finish his chicken nuggets and green beans" he threw his nuggets across the room, then he threw his Rescue Heroes Station across the room and hit the wall, probably the only one in the house that DOESN'T have a hole in it, OH WELL not now! That's it! I am NOT letting him do this, so I jerked him up and put his little butt on the bed, then I tried to talk to him, and this is what I got!

I got kicked, I got punched, I got spit on, over and over and over! For about 5 minutes, then I decided to put some of my weight on him to help calm him down, oh, then he starts CRYING. and screaming, "GOOD BOY, GOOD BOY, GOOD BOY, BLUE, BLUE, BLUE, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over for at least 20 minutes and I think after that last kick I started praying to GOD for about 15 minutes until his voice got below a certain decible level, I figured I could let him go, he was sweating and his poor little face was red and I was crying. I don't know what else to do. What am I doing wrong, why is he doing this? Am I doing everything I can do for him?

Turning Point!

I am an emotional mess today! The 2007 BFL Champions were announced today and I am genuinely happy for all of them, I received a phone call from the Service that is suppose to be providing me with 20 hours of Personal Assistance for my Son, which entails, personal hygiene like teaching him how to take a bath, help him potty train, brush his teeth and I am hoping his anger management. Don't know how many more holes in the walls I can take. Still feeling tired for some reason, really don't know why, feel a little run down, but completed my workout anyway~

My son got home at 2:30 and he got in the house and immediately started yelling for cookies, well I am not giving him cookies right away, he can have baked cheetos, baked chips, bananas, other fruits, etc... so he got mad and threw himself on the kitchen floor and in the middle of that, he managed to knock over about 5 puzzles that were sitting on the counter and of course, they all had about 10-20 pieces with EACH OF THEM! Yeah, they went everywhere, so I thought I would finish it off, and just tossed the whole darn thing on the floor and told Cameron I would HELP HIM OUT! Probably not the best thing to do, but I have had it! When I am tired I am not at my best, but I did not give in and give him that darn cookie, he got a BANANA! :)-

I wanted to cry, but then thought about everything and cried anyway. Figured it would get better and I would feel better if I did cry so I let it rip, then my help was late today. I just don't feel like doing anything today, thank God my workout is done! So I think it is a shake night with some boiled eggs!

Closing Week 3 out with a Kick in the Rump Roast Workout!

I FELT GREAT TODAY! Even though it didn't start out like that. My son decided to wake me up at 0415 this morning by swirming around in the bed, knocking all my covers off, etc until I got so mad, I just got up, WAY TOO EARLY! So as soon as I got his little rear end on that bus, my butt went back to bed! HAD TOO! Got up 2 hours later and felt great. Got to speak to Mike Harris, just love him, then I did my Pre-Calculus Homework and then...... hit my workout with some pented up hostility, I tell you! I TORE IT UP TODAY! My cardio was on it, and then my Upper Body! Just love working out to my JAMS on my IPOD! I was ROCKING it out today! Just because I looked funny in the mirrors wasn't enough for me to quit! I just sang to myself! SO THERE! :)- On to WEEK 4!

Now I am just updating on this post because I am not writing a whole new thread just to say that I am at the 9lb weight loss! I am sure it is from all the bad CARB loading I did prior to starting my BFL, so when I actually starting eating GOOD, it went into shock! :)- But it went up and down over the last 4 weeks and managed to be right on the money when I woke up the day before free day, and it was 9 lbs lighter! So that is a VICTORY to me!

When YOU make YOUR MARK IN LIFE!

There will always be someone there to try and steal it away or minimize it! Stand Tall Because YOU deserve to be there! I deserve to be there!

How to Handle haters:

A Hater is someone that is Jealous and envious and spends all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.When you make YOUR mark, you will always attract some haters... That's why you have to be careful who you share your blessings and your dreams with because some folk can't handle seeing YOU blessed. It's dangerous to be like somebody else...
If God wanted you to be like somebody else He would have given you what He gave them.
You don't know what people HAVE GONE THROUGH to get WHAT THEY HAVE.
The problem with HATERS is that they see YOUR GLORY, but they don't know your STORY.
If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too. :D

We've all got some haters among us: Some people don't like it that you can

*Come to church*Get your praise onhaters don't want to see you Happy*

Haters don't want to SEE YOU SUCCEED
Haters don't want you to get the VICTORY
Most of our haters are people that are supposed to be ON OUR SIDE.
How do you handle the haters who you at least expect to have your guard up against?

You can handle your haters by:

1. Knowing who you are and what you believe; who your TRUE FRIENDS are
2. Having a Purpose
3. By remembering what you have is by Divine Perogative and not Human Manipulation
PURPOSE does not mean having a job. You can have a job and still be unfulfilled.
A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be.
Your purpose is not defined by what OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU.
You will always be trying to get stuff because the more stuff you have will not improved what others think about you, what others think will last as long as the stuff lasts

When God gives you a favor, you can tell your haters,
"Don't look at me...Look at who is in charge of me.

REMEMBER, IT AIN'T ABOUT YOU, BUT IT'S ALL ABOUT GOD.

Mystical Winter WonderLand! Just Beautiful!

Winter WonderLand at the Icenhour's House!

That's My Snow Baby! Man, he just didn't know what to do with this stuff!

Cameron's First Real Snow EVER!

Here is my Beautiful son in my front yard playing in his FIRST EVER SNOW! He couldn't figure out for the life of him what that "stuff" was but he was picking it up and rolling it up in a ball! I will take more pictures when it starts to pile up! What fun is this? WHAAAAAA HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Friggin Pissed and Overly Aggravated!

Man, the Flipping weather! If I had a NORMAL kid, I wouldn't be as pissed but I know "IT" is a coming! What I mean by that, is I have already gotten a dose of "my daily dose" from the last shot of snow and sleet that we got. Don't get me wrong, I love a pretty snow, so much as a kid and even more now, but anytime it snows or sleets and icing over on the roads, that means the state assistance for Cameron does not happen and I am trying my darnest to keep him "happy" ALL DAY! It is nothing about me and all about HIM.. so anyone doing a challenge, trying to eat right or even get some rest, well that all WENT STRAIGHT TO HELL IN A HAND BASKET! It took me pretty much until late afternoon to get my cardio in yesterday and it wasn't a "normal" cardio session, improvised but nonetheless, I got it done and felt good about it, but my son kept interrupting me and so in order to keep my heart rate up, I had to improvise and run around my main floor of my house, which is the living room, dining room, kitchen and entrance way about 20 times and each time I ran through where he was, he either threw a truck or train at me, jumped at my legs or yelled at me, guess I was "bothering" him! Go Figure! Man, life is just too hard some days, isn't it and today, well he has been very difficult to handle. He has had two meltdowns, thus resulted in more holes in my walls, made by his little trains, so his trains went up in the closet, and so he is very mad at me about that and spit at me... Yes, he spit at me. Well I have to get ready to do some math,,, write more later.

Update, it turned out that my tutor was able to show up and I got my quiz done and made a 88. Happy about that and got my workout in, so all in all, the mission was accomplished!

Made a Hard Decision today!

Every morning, my son and Rocky, my dog has a fight and one usually my son comes out with stratches. Now my dog is not mean at all, just big and my son, Cameron being autistic does not understand really how to treat animals. He can be rough and has hurt the dog by grabbing his groin area and squeezing really hard. Every morning, is so stressful and I am sad to say that I am going to give my dog Rocky to a new home. I have found someone, a Dad and son duo, whoes son is 13 and I am sure would be a great companion for Rocky. So today will be his last day in the house and I am in tears but I know it is the best for Cameron and my stress levels. Hope I am doing the right thing here.

Closing the 1st Week of my 2008 BFL Challenge!

Yes Yes Yes, the first week is written in History and I topped it off today with one heck of a Cardio Session burning 324 calories on my New Baby, the BowFlex TreadClimber and took a very short break to get my weights together and did my Entire Upper Body! I increased my weight with my Back and Chest Exercises in the dumbbells and Nautilus portions of the workout however I did feel some sharp pains from my right shoulder. Still having some trouble out of that tendon over there so I had to baby it just a little. "NOT TOO MUCH!"

Ate clean this week, trying to pick out what I want as a Free Meal on Sunday! I will let it just happen, then I won't worry about it. Drinking alot of water and I have noticed my Ice Tea and Diet Soda is lasting ALOT LONGER! :)- Off to do some Pre-Calculus! YUCK! Have a great day!

Updated Pictures of Home Gym!

Well since it wouldn't let me write anything with the pictures without making the page 5 feet long, I decided to do it and another post. The first picture is a wide view if I was standing in the back part of the gym at the mirrors and facing towards the door. I have hung a few more posters, some personal, some military, kind of gives you an idea of what I am seeing when I am back there working out!


Second photos is of my favorite corner in the gym, the EAS Corner, it has my pictures of when I drove 5 hours in rush hour traffic in 1999 in Northern California to see Bill, Shawn, their mother and Porter at a Book Signing in the Local Mall! One of the Best Days of my Life!

Third Photo is of my New Addition to my Gym Family! My BowFlex TreadClimber. Just got it the day AFTER Christmas, Yeah that's right! But it also turns into a stairstepper and a treadmill with a 10% incline if you so desire, didn't know that one until I read the instruction manual! So MEN read the directions! :)-

This week was my first week back at working out and I am tired and sore but it is all worth it. Can't believe I have gotten so OUT OF SHAPE! But it doesn't take long, it really doesn't and today was a huge awakening for me! You can NOT hide from the mirror! Can't fool the mirror! The mirror NEVER LIES! Yikes! Have got to get busy! Oh well! Off to the races! Wish me luck and see you at the end of this challenge, then onto another one and another one and another one!

Updated Gym Pictures!

Starting Two New Challenges Simultaneously!

YUP! That is right. This week is PREP week and I am preparing my body to get back into the routine of working out and eating clean. I am so glad the doctor gave me her seal of approval over the phone. She ask me a few questions and told me to take it easy for the first 4 weeks! SURE I WON'T! I want my Banging BODY BACK! I feel like a SLOTH! I am not use to living this way AT ALL and am NOT happy with myself so it is time to get it in gear! My legs are screaming today, all tired and stiff from using my new Tread Climber, JUST LOVE IT!

Well I am signing up for the body for life challenge and the Torch Jacket Challenge! Wish me luck!

Christmas Day at the Icenhour's House!

Overall I guess it could have been a lot worse! I mean concerning Cameron. He loved his room but ask to open presents ALL DAY! Wouldn't shut up about it and of course we ran out! Last night, he opened up 4 gifts at Grandpa Overton's house and still try to take another kid's toys away from him. Oh my, anyway here are some pictures of Cameron, my mom and my dog on christmas day in our new home! Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to CAMERON!

Welcome to CAMERON'S WAY of LEARNING!
Officially Open for Business. Only for the
Special Children in our lives! I am still
posting ABCs and 1 2 3s on the walls but

this is his Christmas Present from me!

I am hoping this is what he needs because

it has pretty much maxed out my credit card!

But he is SO WORTH IT!

Finally this semester is OVER! Wheeeew!

Man oh Man! I am SO GLAD this semester is over! It was the most stressful EVER! If anyone reads my blog and attends college EVER, do whatever you can to NOT TAKE STATISTICS! It SUCKS! BAD! I can't remember hating a class as much as I hated this one and it took a toll on my stress level and free time worrying about the darn thing the whole time. I just hope I passed it. UPDATE!!!!!!!! Just FOUND OUT that I made an A- in Statistics and an A in Intermediate Algebra! Don't know how I pulled that off, ran on automatic this semester but oh well! IT IS OVER!


Well onto the holidays! 2 weeks off then onto the next hellation 3 months!